Friday, July 22, 2011


I am in the midst of a medication change and it has been quite like hell for me.  I have been depressed, anxious, and nervous beyond belief for weeks now, coming close to the brink of admitting myself to the hospital.  It makes me wonder if it was worth it.  

But that's the thing about change.  We NEED change in our lives.  And most times, change is for the better.  And if it's not immediately better, it turns better and evens out in the end.  Right?  At least that's how my life up to this point has gone - I think.  I'm still waiting for that "evening out" phase after my major meltdown and withdrawal from society.  

I just think I need to have a more positive view on this medication change.  Perhaps if I can look at it as just that: "change" it won't be so scary.  It's temporary.  The pain and frustration does not have to be the end of me (although sometimes I'm convinced it will be).  I can weather this storm like the many storms before it and come out the other side better, healthier, more whole.  Well, at least that's what I'm hoping for.  

Change is scary, for sure.  But maybe if I embrace it and look to the future, I'll have a better outlook.  And you know what?  That's good enough for me for now.