Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Moments to be Proud

Today, it is simple for me. I am proud of myself for recognizing my need for some serious rest. I slept most of the day after going to bed at 9:00PM last night. Amazing. I got up at 2:00PM today and had a bowl of cereal so at least I didn't go without food, but I was quickly back to bed to sleep until 5. I needed it, and could tell by the weight I felt each time I woke up. Finally at 5:00 I woke up feeling lighter, and rested.

Unfortunately, my night is taking a "swing" and I don't like it. I'm frustrated over my lack of finances and inability to just buy and do what I want, when I want. Combined with a tummy ache, I am struggling this late evening.

So today, my pride comes from recognition of what I needed (rest), and the confidence to listen to my body and mind and oblige.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Let's Try This Again

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I am pretty hard on myself. Learning to love myself for who I am, bipolar and all, has been a life-long challenge. Sure, I'm young (only 30), but I have a long way to go before being comfortable in my own skin.

Yesterday in counseling, there was a recurring theme: learning pride. I have accomplished so many things in the last two months, and I really wasn't giving myself much credit for them! I would talk about them, but was not exhibiting pride in my accomplishments. Which is pretty funny when I think about how I try to recognize all accomplishments, big and small. I need to learn to be proud of myself for my accomplishments, not just see them and recognize them.

So my new assignment to myself, which I will be using this blog to try to accomplish, is pride for every day, and every accomplishment - big or small.

Let's begin!

Monday, July 26, 2010

I am proud that I got up and out of bed.

I am proud that even though I was groggy, I got up early to enjoy the cooler temperatures.

I am proud that I was present and able to post status updates on Facebook, and comment on other people's posts.

I am proud that I ate well.

I am proud that I showered.

I am proud that I put makeup on for the first time in months.

I am proud that I went to my counseling appointment, which included walking extra to get there instead of taking two busses. I am proud that I took the opportunity to stretch my two very capable legs despite how hot I was feeling.

I am proud that I tired myself out, because my body felt capable and used.

I am proud for the aha moments I had, not only in emailing one of my sisters about my amazing week with my mom, but also in counseling. I am proud to be writing about a day full of things to be proud of.

I am proud of making dinner for Tony and I, despite how tired I was. I am proud of stopping at the Mexican store on the corner for sodas for Tony and I.

I am proud of taking my medications as prescribed.

I am proud of calming myself down when I went to bed so that I could sleep. I am proud of a night without bad dreams, and a night of better sleep.

I am proud that I remembered my assignment to myself and jumped in head-first this morning.

I like this! I hope it sticks!