Monday, October 18, 2010

Weekend Support and Inspiration

So I did it.  I decided to jump right in and follow my heart.  I created a Facebook support page called Stop Living the Stigma, following my recent blog post and some great feedback I have received on it.  

Did I do the right thing?  Who knows, but I have nothing to lose.  I thought that despite the many Facebook support pages out there, this one may have its own touch.  We will see what kind of following (if any) I receive!  I'm excited, and have had fun with it so far.  

But I must remember, that I'm not always going to feel as good and inspired as today.  So what do I do on those days?  Well, hopefully I will look back on my past posts and find comfort and inspiration from them.  If not, I absolutely must be kind to myself and give myself time to heal.  Because that's what the page is all about.  And I'm hoping, that I will be comfortable enough on the page to be honest with my friends, and tell them if I'm just not feeling myself that day.  Perhaps they can help keep the page going.  After all, that's what I was looking for!  

So I did it!  I followed my heart and took a leap into the unknown.  I can't wait to see what happens.  

In other news, I had an amazing weekend with my fiance, Tony.  We didn't do anything except for grocery shopping and lazing around.  It was wonderful.  I did find myself a little emotional and snippy Saturday, and finally I started talking and it all came out.  A lot has been on my mind.  

I told you in my last post that he admitted to being jealous of me being home.  Well, I finally admitted to him that this compounded the guilt I already felt of being home and not working myself.  He felt bad.  And I felt bad that he felt bad.  He never meant for it to be taken upon myself as another stressor.  Poor guy.  But the great part about it, is it led me to talk more about everything else that's been on my mind, and how stressed out I have been feeling.  He actually thanked me for being so open with him.  It's times like these that I realize just how lucky I am, and just how much pressure I put on myself.  I constantly hold it all in, and stress and stress and stress, much to the detriment of my mental health.  It comes out as snippy and bitchy in the end.  It's a terrible habit.  

But he does love me.  He does want to marry me.  And he's not even thinking of the possibility that this could be a forever situation.  He's just enjoying the here and now… with me!  I have already learned so much from him.  And I look forward to learning so much more.  

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