Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Wall Bouncer Extraordinare
So I woke up this morning at 7:30. Bright and early. Wide awake. Not quite sure why, but I decided to get up and enjoy the day instead of trying to force myself back into slumber. I'm glad I did. It doesn't happen often that I'm up early and WANT to be up, so I am glad I got up. But it didn't take long for me to start bouncing off the walls. You see, last week was full of stress and disaster after a broken hot water heater flooded the finished basement. Thankfully, I rent. So I wasn't responsible for anything. But still. It was a HUGE disruption, and for two days (that were ridiculously HOT!) I was stuck in the house, in the hot living room, unable to move from the couch because I was waiting for people to come in to fix it. It was torture. Don't get me wrong, I don't do a lot on a regular day anyway, but to be TRAPPED like that really stressed me out, not to mention wanting to make sure it all got fixed and I did right by the owners.
Fast forward to today. I'm up early, and after last week's chaos, I was desperate to get out of the house. So I went! I hopped on the bus and went into Center City Philadelphia to look for some things I'd been wanting. It felt GREAT! I was out, I was alive, and I was enjoying myself. This is unheard of. Usually I'm glued to the house with little to no motivation. Today was a rarity and I actually took advantage of it!
But I got tired. Fast. The temperature is only in the 70's but it felt like it was mid-80's to me. Hot. I was a sweaty mess within minutes. Blegh. It's a curse. The extra weight on my body doesn't help I'm sure. But I had to fight the disappointment I was feeling having gotten tired so fast.
You see… this is going to be a process - a LONG process. I want so desperately to have a life again, but I'm constantly reminded just how far I have to go before getting there. So I savor days like today. I savor those moments that I actually WANT to get out and CAN get out. Disappointment or not, I'm proud of myself today. It's the small things in life, totally.