Thankful Thursdays

Well, I'm going to go with one of my days of the week this morning: Thankful Thursdays.  

To start, today is my first day without taking an anti-depressant in Lord knows how long.  I have stopped the Prozac.  Now, I still have probably two weeks before it really is out of my system completely, but today was the first day without taking that pill.  ONE LESS PILL!  It's like, SO EXCITING!  Hee!  So we'll see in a couple weeks how I'm managing.  Gotta keep the eyes peeled and the heart and emotion door open to see what happens and keep tabs on myself. 

I am also VERY thankful for yesterday's re-uniting with the blog.  It felt really good.  Not only did I post two entries, but I changed my description so it's geared toward me only, not Tony and me.  I will miss what I had up there before, because I thought it was really cute, and completely full of inside jokes between Tony and I that would make people curious.  But this blog has become mine.  So, although Tony helped me get it up and running and was my supporter when I started, he is letting me spread my wings and go my own way.  I love that he trusts me so much!  

And of course, to have read all my posts up to date and have such an amazing reaction to them is worth being very thankful for.  I am still in awe at how I felt reading all of them.  

And thank you Pandora, for your beautiful mixes.  I'm so glad I upgraded so that I can listen to you as long and as much as I want with no ads!  Music is so powerful.  

On a silly note, I drank all my coffee today and didn't get nearly as stuffy as I usually do.  I think I need to come to the conclusion that I am allergic to coffee in some way because my nose runs like Niagara Falls when I drink it!  But I've been trying to make LESS coffee because I've been wasting it.  And today I made the perfect amount.  Two cups of coffee precisely.  Perfect!  

What a way to start the day.  So thankful.  Grateful.  (And a little nervous because football officially starts tonight!  AGH!)

Quiet, Please... I'm Begging

The brain. Quite a complex entity in itself. I am ever amazed at all the brain can produce… thoughts, chemicals, nerves, reactions, emotions, and on and on and on says mine.

My brain is like a merry-go-round on high voltage. The thoughts riding the merry-go-round are spinning madly, too fast to move and too fast to come out or make any sense. I can see it. I can see the spinning of thoughts - spinning and spinning and spinning. And no, it does not make me dizzy. Funny. It makes me irritable, and antsy as hell.

Just the other day I re-discovered a classical music station on Pandora. I was in love. It was so calming for me somehow, and I could feel the brain stimulation starting up again. But today when I put it on, it sent my merry-go-round into overdrive and I could not get a thought in, out, or otherwise.

So finally now, at 5:30PM, with the help of my most mellow (perhaps one would consider depressing) station on Pandora, I am finding the calmness to talk about the very thing that kept me from talking before. I thank my friends Liz and Kim for the encouragement to write about the very thing getting in my way of writing. Sure, it took all day, but I did it. That's something to be proud of. A start is a start in my book.

Baby steps!