Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Quiet, Please... I'm Begging

The brain. Quite a complex entity in itself. I am ever amazed at all the brain can produce… thoughts, chemicals, nerves, reactions, emotions, and on and on and on says mine.

My brain is like a merry-go-round on high voltage. The thoughts riding the merry-go-round are spinning madly, too fast to move and too fast to come out or make any sense. I can see it. I can see the spinning of thoughts - spinning and spinning and spinning. And no, it does not make me dizzy. Funny. It makes me irritable, and antsy as hell.

Just the other day I re-discovered a classical music station on Pandora. I was in love. It was so calming for me somehow, and I could feel the brain stimulation starting up again. But today when I put it on, it sent my merry-go-round into overdrive and I could not get a thought in, out, or otherwise.

So finally now, at 5:30PM, with the help of my most mellow (perhaps one would consider depressing) station on Pandora, I am finding the calmness to talk about the very thing that kept me from talking before. I thank my friends Liz and Kim for the encouragement to write about the very thing getting in my way of writing. Sure, it took all day, but I did it. That's something to be proud of. A start is a start in my book.

Baby steps!

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