Friday, September 10, 2010

A Day for Love

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.  And it seems fitting with what today signifies for me.  

Two years ago today, I stopped taking medication of any kind, which started the spiral into what I consider at times the depths of hell.  My doctor told me it was okay, and wished me well.  What a mistake on his part, but what a blessing in the end for me.  

That day was the start of one of the most tumultuous journeys I could ever imagine.  But the journey has produced some of the most amazing blessings I could ever imagine.  

Two lost jobs, three new doctors, endless medication changes (when I finally got back ON medication), and a hospital stay later; I am able to sit here and celebrate LIFE.  What a powerful gift to possess.  

It has been two long, terrifying years.  But two years that have been more filled with life and love than any of my 30 years of living.  The underlying blessing is that of LOVE.  How amazing and powerful love is.  It can come from your mother, sisters, boyfriend/fiance, and friends old and new.  It can come to you in the form of an embrace, in the form of simple words, in the form of laughter or jokes, and even in the form of a shake of the shoulders to wake you out of the stupor you have fallen into.  Doctors have love, Therapists have love, and even Pharmacists have love.  All love to help you be the person you are meant to be, the person they see that you have lost along the way.  

I think she's coming back… me, I'm coming back.  I can only pray that the "me" I am learning to love so dearly will stick around for years to come.  I hope I do not lose that girl again.  But if I do, for whatever reason, I am confident that she is surrounded by LOVE, and it's one of the most powerful forces in the Universe.  

Today, I celebrate strength, weakness, vulnerability, life, and love.  May those suffering for whatever reason feel something like this before it's too late.  

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