Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I Can't Help Myself!
I had to share. I just had to - and you'll see why.
I decided to let the day go, to let the day flow away from me and stop fretting about the technical difficulties I was having, my loneliness, and my frustrations with my limitations. I was feeling low, tired, and sad. But I decided to let it go… to let it flow.
I realized after taking a gutsy step in sharing my blog on my Facebook page, that the day was not for me to know or predict. I could not change what each minute would do, but I could try to appreciate each minute of the rest of the day.
The TV came off, the computer on my lap, and music flowed. I relaxed. I was one with my thoughts and feelings. I stopped fighting.
Within minutes I had to go upstairs, and I decided to try to give the computer/document problem I was having one more try. And you know what? When I relaxed into it, not knowing what would come of it but being okay if it did not go the way I wanted it to, I figured it out. Just like that.
Just like that I let the day go and just like that the day and the Universe handed me exactly what I wanted. I am in awe. Even one of my favorite songs came on, Over The Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.
All I could do was smile. And let the peace settle into my heart.
Ps: Just as I finished writing this, an ambulance went flying down the street and I started to smell smoke. I always get nervous when I smell smoke anywhere and so I stepped out on my front stoop to see where it was coming from. Smoke is thick down the street about a block away. I am praying that whatever it is, and whomever it involves, they are okay. Prayers.