Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Working Some Things Out...

My day started out really good, and positive.  But I find myself fading this afternoon, and it's frustrating me.  What I think I just realized, is that I need to stop, and let it flow.  

I get so quickly frustrated with what I call "my limitations."  Although I wake up feeling good, positive, and ready to conquer the day, quickly into doing anything that requires a great deal of concentration, or especially if I meet road blocks in my day where things aren't going like I'd hoped, I get frustrated.  And the frustration frustrates me.  

Frustration is a very negative emotion for me.  Because it seems to breed itself.  The more time I give to my frustration, the greater it becomes, until I have lost my positive mood all together.  That is what I'm met with this afternoon.  I'm tired.  And I'm feeling low.  And I have decided I need to address this.  

I am not flowing right now.  I am not letting the day flow as it should, as it is intended to be.  Yes, I've met some frustrations today, but there is no need for it to ruin my day.  And there is no reason it should ruin my mood.  I can still be a positive and happy being even though I am met with some bumps in the road.  

The flow of my day has been more rapids than a gentle creek.  And I'm trying to slow it down to where I like it to be.  I still have accomplished things - many things in fact that make me feel good.  So I'm still thankful.  I'm thankful for my Disability payment that enabled me to pay my bills.  I am thankful for my electric bill that means I have electricity.  I am thankful for my gas bill because it means I have warm water and can use my stove and heat my house if it were cold.  I am thankful for my phone bill and the communication it stands for.  I am thankful that I have a little extra so I could buy a new pair of shoes as a birthday present to myself.  

I am thankful for my delicious lunch, for the sunshine and fresh air coming through my windows.  I am thankful for the music streaming into my computer which brightens and calms my mood at the same time.  

So yes, it is a good day, just a mellow afternoon.  And I'm working to be okay with that.  

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