Sunday, September 12, 2010
Smiles on Sundays
I'm having a hard time today. On Sundays I LOVE to write about smiles, but my smiles seem hard to come by for some reason this afternoon. I feel like I'm oozing negativity, and that alone is making me more negative.
I've been up since an early 6:30am, woken up from a bad, ghost-filled dream. I was so skittish after that dream, I even turned the lights on. But I got up and made my coffee, and had quite a few giggles over the turtle not being sure what was going on because I was up so early. She never gets fed that early, but knew that since I was up, food must be coming soon. She slowly got more and more frisky, climbing on her log and kerplunk-kerplunking to get my attention. It was pretty cute.
I enjoyed the morning. It was quiet and rainy. My coffee was good and it was even cool enough that I could have oatmeal for breakfast. I haven't had oatmeal in some time. Late-morning, while waiting for my mom to call and Tony to wake up, I started reading my book, The Power. It had me feeling pretty good. I stuck with it until it got into the tools to use to find more positivity in your life, and how to attract what you want in life. I thought, "I can do this," and even started the imagination process. When Tony came downstairs, I closed the book and was feeling good, ready to make some breakfast for the two of us.
But after an hour or so, I felt the negativity seeping in. It's been getting worse and worse. I feel edgy. I feel irritable. And I feel bitchy. All of which I despise. And that, in itself, is doing the exact opposite of what the book was about: focusing on the positive. So I'm feeling frustrated.
I suppose I need to remind myself that it's not a skill I'm going to learn in an hour. But the difficulty is that somehow, in my desires for the positive, I realized just how negative I am. Maybe it's part of the process. Let's just hope. I think perhaps I need to envision being more positive. Being healthy. Being happy.
So let's try this: although my Sunday is feeling particularly negative, perhaps this is the start of finding more positive light in my life. Turn that negative around, yes?